Lighter Thief Chapter 4

me:

theo:

demi:

miya:

mum:

BOINKSHE

LIGHTER THIEF CHAPTER 4
- NEED I SAY IT? FICTION. -

blake.
"ive got dry mouth me" not the first thing you wish to hear on a wednesday morning. i say morning. more likely some time after noon. the fact this sentence also acted as a subliminal instruction to pass the bottle of water located far more towards his side of the room than mine didn't help. nor the fact i wasn't supposed to fall asleep here. i think i'm still blazed.
"you can fuck off- get it yourself..." it's too early for that shit. my mouth's probably drier than his. i wish i could move and get it for myself but i'm simply too drowsy to try and if my first sentence of the day is anything to go by, today's already gonna piss me off. "...or get it for me? please? i'll go fill it up and you can have fresh cold water!" i immediately regretted it. another thing to add to the list of things, that slipped out without thinking beforehand. to be completely honest, by the time id said it the idea of fresh cold water for myself sounded delightful. could i be arsed? if i had a zoot maybe? to return to? i'd move for that. i just needed him to do something for me first. grab the drink! i'll make the "ahhh" sound you make after swallowing (sometimes.) over dramatically probably, enticing him in for what's about to follow. knowing him he'll probably take a swig before he passes it me which if he does he's ruined it for himself. he'll be lucky if i don't just roll over and drink in my dreams. he does exactly that. as I said he would. to a t, except he throws it at me as apposed to passing after he slathers his lips around it. "ew, keep it!" we'd been friends since primary school, we'd obviously shared a swig in the past however, he's been nothing but an inconvenience since he woke me up thirty seconds ago.
"sweet!" he muttered as he stood up and stumbled towards me, groggily, as if he'd been in slumber for a month. trying ever so hard not to stand on every obstacle that lay dormant on his 'loft' floor. not sure why he called it a loft, as if it was a spacious apartment in central new york city. instead, his bedroom, he shared with his sister, which i suppose at one time was a loft, however the mediocre conversion was nothing to marvel. he arrived. extending his arm towards the bottle at which point i grabbed and concealed with my body as i rolled over and jokingly pretended to snore. "give me it you mong!"
"chill! i'll fill it... go over there, you're pissing me off. already!" i had to pause before saying already as to add more emphasis so i didn't sound like a cliche american, who would say something along the lines of "just eat the god damned pie already!"
"ice! and bring some scran up" he ordered whilst retreating back to his pit. ice required separate glasses, which required more effort, and double the tap time. pushing your luck theo mate. my eye roll indicated computer said no, to ice. "come on you nob! no point making a cold drink if it's not going to be optimum coldness!" he wasn't wrong, just annoying. at this point if it wasn't just as much of an inconvenience descending two flights of stairs instead of one. he'd be getting bathroom tap water. i soldiered up from his sisters bed as though the injuries from the spot he hit when he threw the bottle were so severe, i'd never make it to the freezer and back alive.
"i'll put ice in, and get food, if you roll a zoot while i'm gone" this was an unfair deal; I'd literally offered a favour no one would deny first thing in the morning with dry mouth. then at the last minute propositioned a bigger task of him in return. he'd enjoy the zoot anyway I suppose. And it's my weed. He better do it. its not really a discussion at this point and since his older sister demi had warned me a million times in the past.
"BLAKE, STOP, FUCKING, EATING, IN, MY, BED, WHEN, YOU, STAY, OVER, AND, IM, NOT, HERE, BECAUSE, YOU'RE, A, FUCKING, SLOB. AND YOU DONT CLEAN IT!" i was already treading on thin ice. put that in your drink you arsehole. and roll a fucking zoot.
"fuck sake, you're selfish!"
"and you're an arsehole..." and with that I went to make waters. with ice.

"right i'm going" twenty minutes later. two empty glasses of what had been vimto later. six melting blocks of ice in divided between the two glasses (more in mine) later. (don't ask me how, water evolved to vimto. i saw it on the side and knew nobody actually wanted fucking water regardless how cold it was.) one zoot out the 'loft' roof window later. "mi mums probably gonna been hella tryna bell me."
"sweet, take that tenner out my wallet and lock the door and post it back through" unlike him to remember he actually owed me money. must've been the vimto.
"your mums in though i think?"
"did you see her?"
"nah but the dogs in so she must be!" sure i saw the dog? "in a bit, ill text ya!"

the next inconvenience of the day came in the form of met heads. regardless how much money i make, a ticket never seems to be a priority of mine. fortunately for me though, they were only stood on the platform at bury. since, id already vacated the vehicle and they weren't checking tickets anyway, they weren't as big of an inconvenience as they could've been. still dick heads though! as i emerged from the escalator, which surprisingly worked today, into the interchange. many, less than appealing, hideous sights overwhelmed my delicate caucasian eyes. my mum best not be in when i get back. the first of many idealistic thoughts that flooded my scattered thoughts between the "poetry has been bury, bury good to me" sign and my house which was a six minute walk away. as i approached my avenue i realised the bitch was in, her car was there. not only was her car there, it hadn't been there long. how did i know? both the car and the house doors lingered open as if objects were being transported from one to the other. hope she's done a food shop, starving me.
"come here you and help!" the screech, which i'm certain made my dad leave, echoed obnoxiously off every object that stood in the five metres between us as she pointed her scrawny finger towards a cardboard box on the floor. easier to recite anything she says without the h where one should've been, because she sure as hell wasn't sure how to use them! "where've you bin? bin ringing ya, all day!..."
"...miya's..." the second time id used this line to lie in the past twenty four hours. i was met with a deathly stare as i was interrupted.
"...funny that, she's bin here all fucking day! said she hasn't heard from ya!" fuck! in this instant i wasn't sure whether to try and muster another lie or simply ignore her. as i picked up the box and headed towards the front door she carried on. "you better fucking not be at that again! do you hear?! she might believe the shit you spout to her, but i fucking don't..." interrupting her self this time to slam the car door she continued. "you better have my fucking money as well or you can turn round and fuck off back to wherever you came from!" 
"i have!" i snapped! ignoring the first part hoping she meant smoking weed and not escorting. knowing her she probably knew about both the nosy cow! i was met at the door by miya who looked disapprovingly at me. which was short lived.
"hiya babe" she muttered rapidly, as though she couldn't get the words out quick enough before her lips were puckered and heading towards mine.
"alright?" i said whilst moving my lips towards hers as its what she wanted so much.
"watch the baby you dope!" she projected. looking down to where the box i was holding, brushed the bump that had been growing ever so slightly out of her stomach for the past few months!
"well you tried to kiss me!" pointing out her idiocy as i meandered around her.